shifting years, shifting traditions

It's good to be home in our own bed :)

How good it can be to unplug!  I had almost a week with out internet, and a few days of very limited cell phone use, which helped me to plug into the moment all the more.  I don't even have many pictures to show from our trip off the mountain, because I was that unplugged!  The down side is whenever I take a break from the computer, the return can be overwhelming.  It's taken me about 36 hours to feel like I can handle it, like I am back in the groove of my daily life.

Our family is at a changing place in our lives.  About traditions, specifically.  This year, we all traveled to stay with both sides of our families.  It was bittersweet, knowing that next year I won't wake up on Christmas morning at my Mom's house, that I won't be there for her birthday the night before.  I wonder how we will work it all out?  If it is possible to get through the holiday season with out any feelings being hurt?  But deep down I am excited to be making our own traditions, to form celebrations that feel right for our little family.  Less emphasis here, more there, different rituals created.  And then inviting others to join us.


Something tucked within the crevices of familial relationships has bothered me for so long.  I can't pinpoint it exactly, but it is within the space of missing each other so much it hurts when we are apart, and longing to be apart when we are together.  Something in the sticky space of The Way We Were and How We Are.  And the fact that sharing blood with someone, growing up in the same house hold perhaps, still manages to produce very different people.  Something within these blurry lines rubs me.  It's like we pick each other's scabs, and I often come away from family gatherings with a need to recover.  I say this not to complain.  I love my family, by birth or relationship.  Through the processing of this holiday season I have come away with 2 intentions:  To be ever-more spacious around these relationships, allowing both them to be and me to be.  To be big and full of space, so that even as old wounds are rubbed, love has room to shine through.  And, to talk less.  Talking less means listening more, and practicing patience.  I could use a heavy dose of that in my life.

Not much phases this lil man, as long as he has space to crawl

My mom out did herself at Christmas as usual.  Her gifts were thoughtful and special.  I often feel I can not thank her enough for her flexibility, understanding, and just plain old kindness.  All of this shines through so bright around Christmas.  I will miss being at her home in seasons to come, but she has inspired me in creating my own holiday traditions.  Everyone's gifts were so nice that for a moment I felt self-conscious about my homemade givings.  These feelings are apart of the shift, though.  There were many beautiful, happy exchanges over the days surrounding Christmas, and those are the real gifts.  Sly was showered with wooden toys, Sophie the giraffe, a wool shirt and bamboo diapers!  (THANK YOU FAMILY!!)   Papa got records and knives!  Mama got cookware, knitting needles and yarn!  We breastfed in all sorts of locations and Sly got to meet some great aunts, uncles and cousins for the first time.  There were lots and lots of sincere hugs.  We ate some junk food.  I made more peppermint bark.  We had a dog-sitter (yes, that's right) for an evening out.  We watched a movie!  I read a whole novel - Sarah's Key.  All and all, a successful experience.

Enjoying Uncle James

Sly hammed it up for Papa's side of the family on the 26th

And now, New Years Eve.  The eve of 2012, a much touted year for change.  What will it bring for my family.  Change, that is for sure, but How?  Isn't that always the question?  We state what we want, declare an aspiration, invoke an intention ... and relinquish the How.  There is a lot I want to change, new things I want to create in my life this year.  I hope to do so with patient determination, and with Grace.

Happy New Years to all of you!  Blessings of peace and abundance. ~lis

happy, peaceful, present

On this darkest of nights I hope you are cozy and warm.  Maybe reflecting on the past year?  Perhaps finishing gifts?  Savoring a night of stillness before the Christmas buzz?  Or already traveling in route for holiday destinations?  Setting intentions for the coming days, months of increasing light?

This title, tonight, is more about intention setting, a wish for me and for you, than it is about what's going on in each moment around here.  And, Hello again, from around here.  I never meant to be away so long, especially with so much to share this time of year, but life! it happened again.  And is happening, so fully and deep and fast that I am here to say I will not be around more than once a week for the next month.  In this way I can be the most present possible, with my cup that runneth over and my newly crawling son.  


I've baked, wrapped, and knitted through this past week, with big plans to share it all in this space.  But now, on Solstice night, I think all that stuff can wait til next year.  Because tonight, all I really want is to savor the cool, calm of night.  And to wish each and everyone of you blessed holidays, how ever you celebrate!  May we all be happy, peaceful and present.

just like that

My, we are in the thick of it (in more ways than one, you'll see!).  The first week of December turned to week-end, and there was holiday celebrations on Friday, Saturday and Sunday!  Drinks, and sweets, and things I normally don't eat.  Laughter and cold, fresh air.  Giving of the first gifts.  It was an invigorating and fun weekend.  My Monday was been spent in yoga pants and a sweatshirt, Sly in his jammies all day, cleaning up, resting, and preparing for more merry making to come!  I have five projects going at once, along with the usual suspects: dinner, dogs, dishes.  But, I have peppermint bark and the Charlie Brown Christmas Album for motivation, and just like that, the holidays are upon us!

Quick changes have happened with my baby boy in one week's time, as well.  He sits!  He crawls!  He eats!  Just like that, I've been expanded into a whole new realm of parenting.  I'm baby-proofing, watching, and most of all enjoying Sly's delight in his new moves.  With these new skills come some bumps of the noggin', of course, but mostly it is just shrills of delight from Sly, and laughter from Mama and Papa Bear watching our baby focus on an object, and then crawl, scoot and boogie to go get it!  Amazing, these babes are.  I love to watch him learn everything for the first time.  It makes me feel like I am learning it all again, too.

I love this season of gift-giving.  It has always been incredibly satisfying to me to give a gift of love, small or large, to those I hold dear.  This time of year I generally have to hold back from giving too much or too many.  If that's even possible.  As I write those words, I feel understanding for my own Mama, who so often has given us so much.  We try to stop her, but I guess it's the way some Mama's show love.  I agree, it is fun.  This year, I am giving lots of home-ade items, more than ever before.  I hope they are enjoyed and appreciated, as I have enjoyed truly putting love and energy into each gift.  That said, I can't show too much here on the blog or it may spoil the magic of surprise!

This week I aim to finish up the making, and doing, so I can sit back in enjoyment of my home and son before the traveling for Christmas begins.  I want to be present, fully, in this time of dark, feeling it's stillness, appreciating it's zen, before the light shifts again.