::this moment::

{this moment} - A Friday ritual inspired by one of my very favorite bloggers, SouleMama.  In Amanda's words: "A moment I want to pause, savor and remember."

::this moment::

{this moment} - A Friday ritual inspired by one of my very favorite bloggers, SouleMama.  In Amanda's words: "A moment I want to pause, savor and remember."

::this moment::

{this moment} - A Friday ritual inspired by one of my very favorite bloggers, SouleMama.  In Amanda's words: "A moment I want to pause, savor and remember."

Please feel free to leave a link to your moment in the comments below.

xoxo~ lis

here's to:

here's to the Dark:

     
winter wind howling like the souls relentless desire to know it's self....

cold, cold rain, ice and snow....

asking the Hard Questions...

fumbling.

Patience...

incubating, resting, being....

quiet loudness.

A Long Winter's Nap.

here's to the Light:

fire-side warmth,

and loving companionship.

satisfaction of work 

and time well-spent.

Ability to Choose.

a promise of fertility ...

planning ...

gratitude ...

this Shining-Angel of a son our family is blessed with.

and the glorious Light found within the Dark:

(there's is so much of this when we just look for it)

bright, white reflection of moon and stars on snow ...

a chance to refine my desires,

or another opportunity for growth,

(with grumbles, tears or laughter).

candles. 

beauty and simplicity in days spent at home,

and the giggles of a toddler hiding under the covers,

or tickled again and again.

winter celebrations ...

a call to meditation...

Wishing you the wisdom that all is exactly as it should be, wether dark or light ... we can always be reminded of this, yes?  I know I can.  Here's to being where we are, where ever that is.

                                         

the season

Everything outside me says this is the season to buy more, to do more, to accommodate more.  This is the message I feel on the boundaries of my home.

Thankfully, this is far from what I feel in my home.  In my home and in my heart, I hear a constant message to buy less, do less, to settle and be more.  

This contradiction can make the most well intentioned holidays stressful.  It was a stress I didn't see, or that just wasn't a big deal before I had a child.  I could look the other way more easily, or just go along for the ride.  Now, with Sly making memories each second of the day, I feel a responsibility to create something meaningful and to free ourselves from activities which don't line up with out deepest goals for family.  One part of this is the recognition that he knows nothing about this season other than what we show him.  We are benefitted here by the fact that he doesn't watch TV.  I can emphasize the things that meant the most to me as a child that I'd like to carry on, the things that I bring with me into each winter: short days, wishing for snow, crackling hot fires, baking treats, candle light in the windows, a sense of mystery & magic, the smell of cinnamon, cloves & fir ...

Some parts of the Solstice-Christmas-New Years-Season are being downplayed, while others are getting a new attention.  A large part of crafting our own simple and special holiday season means editing out the things that do not fit our family.  Editing.  Saying "No", because that gives us more room to say "Yes" to what really matters to us.  Creating something meaningful out of this season has nothing to do with doing more, but a lot with doing only that which really matters.

I'd like to edit some stress out of my own life around this season meant for honoring the darkness of winter and then celebrating the return of Light, a promise of birth, life & fertility.  Somewhere culturally these meanings were lots to the act of abundant gift-giving.  I'm saying "No" to pressure, (most often self-imposed).  I'm saying "Yes" to simplicity.  I'm saying "No" to lots of presents, and saying "Yes" to home-made and small.  I'm saying "Yes" to our small family of 4 (dog included, of course).  Saying "Yes" to Light & Warmth.  Saying "Yes" to fir and pine tips from the yard and cookies in the oven.

Are you too wanting to craft a simple, meaningful holiday?  Perhaps your family dynamics have changed and everyone wants to see the baby while Mama and Papa just want to be at home with the baby?  Wondering how to handle the influx of toys and the pressure to buy for others just because our culture says now is the time to buy?  

I, friend, do not have the answers.  I have stumbled upon some morsels of wisdom and encouragement on the internet that I would love to share for those who feel inclined to re-create or create or edit this season.  I do believe that it may be Merry, Bright, and Calm with out a bunch of running around and credit-card spending.

relationship boundaries ...  Megan from SortaCrunchy talks about not being responsible for anyone else's feelings but your own, and the dance gift giving/receiving.  I love that she talks about changing the norm from asking kids what they are giving rather than what they are getting.  A bit ideal, maybe, but I like this emphasis.

give it good ... Ben Hewitt on obligatory gift giving and trying to give it up.

boundaries, suggestions & gratitude ... More from Megan, this time at SimpleMom

and this ...

I saw this floating around Facebook & it spoke to me right now.  I need to read this each day, I think.

My wishes to you for a simple, meaningful, merry season, in whatever way you celebrate.

what i'm in to

It feels like so much is going on in my life right now that I am constantly questing for more hours in the day.  I get this itch inside me to expand time, to work diligently at creating more time, or even to make time slow down.  I was reminded recently by a dear mentor that the problem is not "we need more hours in the day", it is this view that we can fit more into a 24 hour time span than truthfully can be fit in there.  I cannot, in fact, create a 25th hour.  And, I am thankful for this fact, because at the end of a days work when the baby is asleep and dinner has been eaten (but not cleaned up) I am so, so glad that there is not another hour.  I am so so glad in the evenings that my work is then to rest.

I've been processing these ideas: to expand time, to slow down time, to accept time as it is, and ultimately to make the best use of the time on my hands.  To do the work that I love.  Let meets my heart in the deepest way rise to the top of my "to-dos".  There are absolute rules of hours in the day, yet what I can do with each day is infinite.  I'm working to know this and live this each moment.  To bless the mess or clean the mess depending on what feels best.  I'm working to spend my days rich in time because each moment has been lived.  And thus, my work has shifted.

I saw a picture going around Facebook a while back that said "Stop the glorification of busy!".  My whole body and soul reply YES! to this sentiment.

Here's a bit of what I have been into ....

7 am is a good time to ride the rockin' Ganesha, right?!

~Loving how much my little dude loves wood.  He wants to watch and help and carry some wood for himself.  It's silly and precious.
~Relishing, reworking, and settling into the teachings of Douglas Brooks from a weekend in Charlotte. It was better than I could have imagined, filled me up and left me wanting more (as all good teachings & times spent should!)
~Making sweet treats to send to family for Thanksgiving.  The first batch of Peppermint Bark is cooling in the fridge!  Now if they can just make it out of the house ....
~Writing and posting affirmations around our home.  Little reminders to help keep my thoughts aligned with my goals.
~Loving working with the new mamas in Baby & Beloved Yoga classes.  Seeing a full class is a clear visual that new mamas need movement, community, gentleness and support as they (we!) move into a new kind of life.
~Reading The Winter Solstice and meditating greatly on how to move intentionally & simply through the upcoming holidays.  At once blissed by the freedom to create rituals that feel just right for our family, and simultaneously heavy & daunted.
~Laughing & encouraging the marker & crayon explosions happening on a near-daily basis.  It's as much fun for a toddler to dump out all the colors as it is to actually color with them.
~Excited to find out about a Birthing Center just off the mountain a bit.  This is a challenge I've heard a few times from Mamas-to-be in my area, that there isn't a birthing center in our town.  This one's a good drive away still, but the option is there and I'm pumped to find out about it!
~Savoring all the hugs, kisses and snuggles this wily toddler is giving.  Papa Bear and I both are just breathing them all in.  We can't get enough of Sly's sugar.
~Eating lots of delicious local food, still deep into the fall.  We had local duck AND lamb last week.  There's greens and roots on our plate each night from farmers our own town.  Huge thanks to those of you growing food out there!  I am inspired, satisfied, and incredibly grateful.  

17 months

A prevailing thought these days about mothering a young one:

I can not savor it enough.

No matter how much I relish the moments with my baby boy Sly, my first born, the one that gets my full focus for most of the day, he still is growing up too quickly.  I suppose he is growing up right on time actually, but it feels too quick most days for my soft mama-heart.  He'll be 17 months old tomorrow.  So before Sly hits that one-and-half-year mark, here's a little update on the toddler he's becoming.

We've got a runner, people.  And a climber.  Climbing in and out of chairs, reaching for things off the counter tops, and running down the driveway are all amongst Sly's favorite doings.  I call him "The Great Collector" because he loves to fill baskets and buckets with his treasures, or Mama and Papa's treasure he is claiming for his own.  Markers, books, water bottles, tinctures, and leaves are some of his favorite collectables.  I opened up a kitchen cabinet last night to find a few pieces of kindling he had stashed in there.  It's really cool to see him mimic our work with all this collecting.  He especially loves bringing wood into the house for making fires.  I let him carry small pieces and, happily, we've had no splitters yet!

Just struttin' around in his BOGS with no pants on at the Women's Herbal Conference

Sly's quite the talker these days.  A lot of what he says is still indecipherable, but he has some very clear words now, too.  Here are the words he says consistently:

Papa or Pa-paj

Mama or Ma-My

Steve (Stevie, the dog)

Dog & WooWoo (woof)

No!

Socks

Hot 

Tuck (Truck)

Boos (Boots/Monkey Boots)

Poop

Baby
Shoes
Dis (This)

There a lots of other words that he repeats after hearing us talk and he understands most of what we say.  He follows simple directions: "Bring the book to Mama", "Go get your black shoes", "Let's walk up the hill".  And there is LOTS of laughing!  His personality is coming out so strong and he's learning what he can do just to get a reaction from people (like poking Papa's belly button, putting a scarf on his head, or chasing the dog).  

Perhaps my 2 favorite developments are: he gives kisses and he dances to music.  Even if I'm just singing the boy raises his arms and wiggles his fingers - this is his dance move.  He kisses Mama, Papa, Stevie, his stuffed Lion, his friends, and he brings us things to kiss, too.  

Our days are so fun right now!  Exhausting? Oh, Yes!  Demanding?  Certainly.  And so, so sweet.  I can't savor it enough, but I'll try.  This boy is growing before my eyes.

Lately

 

Lately in our house there's been much cozy-making.  I'm welcoming the chill of fall; It feels just right to turn inwards.  Here's some of what we've been up to:

::Drinking hot tea all day long!  I've even got my little guy in the routine of drinking a warm beverage in the morning, be it a nettle infused cider or warm milk with cinnamon.

::Lots of soup making.  Chicken soups x2, the second one with goldenrod (thanks for the tip Anna!).  We're roasting a whole organic chicken a week, fresh from the Watuga County Farmer's Market, then using the left overs for healing broth and soup.  I'm looking forward to stocking my freezer with a few of these for winter.  Last night was the season's first chili ~ YUM!

::Spending as much time outside as possible.  Starting with coffee and meditation on the porch each morning, this morning with lots of layers on.  Then, each afternoon me and the boy play in the yard.  I try to do some work or knitting, but I end up chasing the baby instead.  And sealing the evening with a beverage on the porch, taking in the last bits of sunlight with my sweetheart.

 

::Papa Bear's been working hard to fill up our wood shed.  I'm excited for the first fire of the season, imagining that will happen soon.  We plan to use only wood for heat this winter, so there'll be no propane in the tank.  I'm looking forward to learning when to burn which woods, how to rage the fire up in the morning, and keep it going slow all night.  It's good work.

::This week's cold spell has coerced me into some internet shopping.  It's time to re-stock our wool socks, order the baby some woolen long underwear, and a sweet pair of bogs for his toddling feet.  And now I'm cut off from money spending, 'til I make some at least!

::I've been putting a lot of heart & mind energy into building my Doula & Yoga business.  I signed up for the Rock Your Birth Business business mentoring course with Stephanie Dawn and Karen Brody.  Class starts in October and I am so excited to work with both of these incredibly empowering & inspiring women.  Equally exciting is seeing my vision for Birth Work unfold, meeting & working with my ideal clients, and helping new families unfold themselves & grow in the most loving way possible.  I'm swimming in new ideas for classes, workshops and even a retreat!  Wooo!  Lots of goodness coming to me, and any of you mamas out there should you choose to join me. Feeling so grateful for the support of the business class as it all starts to unfurl and uplevel!

::Me and the babe have been spending most of our days at home, thanks in part to Mama's stuffy nose.  It has been so lovely though, focusing on my life at home.  Seriously all I've done most days for the last week is laundry, cook meals, and play with Sly.  We've gone out for walks and a trip to the park as I was feeling better, but mostly I've just been home.  It feels really good.

::When not at home, I have been learning to drive my stick shift!  It was so intimidating to me for a long time, yet I really wanted to learn.  So here I am, cruising, er, bumping along the streets of Boone in my 5-speed Subaru.  I'm no where near smooth, and I stick to the back roads as much as I can, but I'm learning.  Letting go of fear each time I get in the car.  Phew!

::Sly has night-weaned.  This is a reason to rejoice, because not only has he stopped nursing multiple times a night, he has allowed us to comfort him back to sleep all in our family bed.  He was angry for the first couple of nights, but Papa Bear soothed him sweetly with words and touch, never having to leave the bed.  Now he's not angry and he lets me even snuggle him to sleep.  This is such a huge sign to me that he was ready, as I was, to go with out nursing through the night (roughly 11 pm - 7 am).  He's still waking up a few times a night, but that's okay for now.  I'm thankful for the sleep, the help from my partner, the energy retained by not nursing all night.  And so grateful that we've been able to maintain the comfort of our family bed.  Once I stock up on sleep for a few more nights I am looking forward to enjoying the early morning stillness as my boys sleep in bed with out me.

Gratitude is an important part of my spiritual practice.  As I take stock of all I have to say "thanks" for lately I see my cup running over.  In practicing gratitude, I'm consistently looking for the good, for the beautiful, for the peace and enjoyment.  There's some hard stuff on board for sure.  Yet by looking for the good and being thankful, my heart feels full.  Here's to a beautiful week and a thankful heart!

this weekend

 

yes, my tomato plants seriously lean that much ...

a lovely weekend full of sun and blue skies by day

rain and crickets and stars by night

a trip to the library because the baby has taken an interest in books
a trip to the thrift store for shelves, a mirror and little glass treasures
walks with the dog and the man
harvesting a little food from our garden, and a lot from the farmers market
a beer date with my lover one night
then eating eggs for dinner 3 nights in a row!

a nook in the maple for balancing beverages out of baby's reach

on Sunday there was
yoga in the yard to the sound of
drum-line practice in the distance;
a baby in flannel and shoes!
learning to drive my new stick-shift Subaru
out on the open road for the first time.
i cast on for a lovely purple wool hat
for my self, a rarity;
and tried to tackle the piecing together of a baby blanket,
maybe it will be a 15 month blanket?
Sly and i went out to Creeksong Farm
for a visit with the CSA crew
and to peek at their lovely crops & animals.
the drive there and back was gorgeous & green,
hydrangeas, dahlias, black eyed susans were spotted,
and also, the first bits of orange and gold in the trees.
then, enjoying a hard cider left over from last year,
because, ohhhh
it feels like fall
is coming soon.

shifting years, shifting traditions

It's good to be home in our own bed :)

How good it can be to unplug!  I had almost a week with out internet, and a few days of very limited cell phone use, which helped me to plug into the moment all the more.  I don't even have many pictures to show from our trip off the mountain, because I was that unplugged!  The down side is whenever I take a break from the computer, the return can be overwhelming.  It's taken me about 36 hours to feel like I can handle it, like I am back in the groove of my daily life.

Our family is at a changing place in our lives.  About traditions, specifically.  This year, we all traveled to stay with both sides of our families.  It was bittersweet, knowing that next year I won't wake up on Christmas morning at my Mom's house, that I won't be there for her birthday the night before.  I wonder how we will work it all out?  If it is possible to get through the holiday season with out any feelings being hurt?  But deep down I am excited to be making our own traditions, to form celebrations that feel right for our little family.  Less emphasis here, more there, different rituals created.  And then inviting others to join us.


Something tucked within the crevices of familial relationships has bothered me for so long.  I can't pinpoint it exactly, but it is within the space of missing each other so much it hurts when we are apart, and longing to be apart when we are together.  Something in the sticky space of The Way We Were and How We Are.  And the fact that sharing blood with someone, growing up in the same house hold perhaps, still manages to produce very different people.  Something within these blurry lines rubs me.  It's like we pick each other's scabs, and I often come away from family gatherings with a need to recover.  I say this not to complain.  I love my family, by birth or relationship.  Through the processing of this holiday season I have come away with 2 intentions:  To be ever-more spacious around these relationships, allowing both them to be and me to be.  To be big and full of space, so that even as old wounds are rubbed, love has room to shine through.  And, to talk less.  Talking less means listening more, and practicing patience.  I could use a heavy dose of that in my life.

Not much phases this lil man, as long as he has space to crawl

My mom out did herself at Christmas as usual.  Her gifts were thoughtful and special.  I often feel I can not thank her enough for her flexibility, understanding, and just plain old kindness.  All of this shines through so bright around Christmas.  I will miss being at her home in seasons to come, but she has inspired me in creating my own holiday traditions.  Everyone's gifts were so nice that for a moment I felt self-conscious about my homemade givings.  These feelings are apart of the shift, though.  There were many beautiful, happy exchanges over the days surrounding Christmas, and those are the real gifts.  Sly was showered with wooden toys, Sophie the giraffe, a wool shirt and bamboo diapers!  (THANK YOU FAMILY!!)   Papa got records and knives!  Mama got cookware, knitting needles and yarn!  We breastfed in all sorts of locations and Sly got to meet some great aunts, uncles and cousins for the first time.  There were lots and lots of sincere hugs.  We ate some junk food.  I made more peppermint bark.  We had a dog-sitter (yes, that's right) for an evening out.  We watched a movie!  I read a whole novel - Sarah's Key.  All and all, a successful experience.

Enjoying Uncle James

Sly hammed it up for Papa's side of the family on the 26th

And now, New Years Eve.  The eve of 2012, a much touted year for change.  What will it bring for my family.  Change, that is for sure, but How?  Isn't that always the question?  We state what we want, declare an aspiration, invoke an intention ... and relinquish the How.  There is a lot I want to change, new things I want to create in my life this year.  I hope to do so with patient determination, and with Grace.

Happy New Years to all of you!  Blessings of peace and abundance. ~lis

thanks giving: loved ones

Today!  The official holiday to count your blessings~
I give thanks for my man, my littlest man, and my sweet girly dogs...
I give thanks for our extended family's love, wether near or far...
I give thanks for my yoga practice, how it grounds me, opens me and just helps me feel like me...
I give thanks for staying home today, all day.
I give thanks for friends!
and really, oh so much more.

I can always take a lesson from this guy, his whole life is presence and gratitude.

I hope your holiday is perfect, how ever that looks for each of you.

thanks giving: a week of gratitude

A throw-back photo from Kodaikanal, India, taken by Papa Bear in December 2009

I believe that when have thankful hearts, we find contentment.  
I believe that intentions grow best in a soil of gratitude.  
I believe that giving thanks if one of the best gifts we've got to give.  
I believe that being grateful for any small joy is the quickest cure for a crummy mood.

So, for a week I'll use this space to give thanks for all the many blessings in my life, small and large.  Please join me if you, too, want to spend a week in gratitude.

This Sunday ~ Soulday, I'm thankful for:
~a wonderful partner, who made and served me oatmeal and coffee this morning
~King Curtis on the saxophone
~asana practice without a baby or dog climbing on me
~sunshine
~a clean, rearranged bedroom (oh!  how good that feels!)
~all the learning happening around here, for the baby, the dogs, us parents - the growth never stops, and it feel like it's peaking right now
~health and healing
~this blog, and new friends in the blogging community, and the reflection that writing offers

Feel free to share your thanks and simple joys in the comments ~ Love and Light for the week ahead!

::this moment::

{this moment} - A Friday ritual inspired by one of my favorite bloggers, SouleMama.  In Amanda's words: "A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

I hope your weekend is blessed by warmth and joy, inside if not out!

If you are inspired to leave your moment in the comments, I'd love to see.  And head over to SouleMama for a this moment tour :)

meet Mecca

Every since we brought home our sweet white pit mix Stevie, we've talked about getting her a companion dog.  Specifically, we wanted a black pit mix for a friend.  This weekend, we found our girl: a 1 and a half year old pit/lab mix named Mecca.

We went back and forth for months about wether or not it would be too much to have another dog right now.   So far, the two girls have actually helped me to have more of a routine for the day.  My rhythm is depicted by their walks, and Sly's naps.  They are rowdy playmates and excellent snuggle-buddies.  

 Having a second dog has also pushed us to be a better leader to Stevie.  I've been watching a lot of Ceasar Millan and practicing his techniques.  That plus a phone call to our dog trainer for some tips, and Mecca and I have made amazing progress with "the walk".  I want someone to take a video of me walking my two pit-mixes, right by my side, with my baby strapped on me too.  It is quite a sight!  Papa Bear on the other hand has been doing lots of this:

Most importantly, we are all learning, and having lots of fun!

::this moment::

{this moment} - A Friday ritual inspired by one of my favorite bloggers, SouleMama.  In Amanda's words: "A moment I want to pause, savor and remember."


This week, my moment requires words.  In fact, there is no picture at all.  It was a moment so perfect that all I could do was savor and be in it.  I didn't want to extract my self for a second to take a photo, and I must write about it because I want to remember this moment for years and years...


One evening this week, I went to my first acupuncture alone since the baby's been here.  He stayed at home with Papa Bear.  We've been having some trouble giving him the bottle, so on my way home I was rushing, and fully anticipating the worst scenario: Sly screaming and Papa Bear exhausted, holding him out to me as soon as I pulled in the driveway.  Instead, what I came home to made my heart melt.  Papa Bear had the music cranked up, Sister Sledge's "We are a Family", and a dance party was rockin'.  I laughed out loud when I saw it through the windows.  The funky chicken, the butterfly, my smiling boy on the floor doing the worm!  Then I came in to join.  We sang and danced and laughed.  This moment was so full of love, so full of fun!  My heart was saying "I love my family, I love my man" over and over again.  (Why had I worried and rushed?  Papa Bear's got this.)  I hope I never, never forget this moment.  

If you are inspired, please leave your own moment in the comments below.  Check out SouleMama (link above) for a tour of others *moments* this week, many of them captured in beautiful photos.

Blessings for a heart-felt weekend <3