World Wide Breastfeeding Week: One Year Later (and, Oh! Hello, again!)

For 14 months, 10 days, and 14 hours I've been a breastfeeder.  Much of how I feel about breastfeeding now is the same as it was one year ago:  I still believe in the optimal nutrition of breast milk, I believe in it's sheer convenience, I offer my child the chance to nurse whenever he wants it, I am thrilled when I see other Mamas nursing,  I nurse in public when necessary, and ultimately I truly love breastfeeding.  Some of these things I feel even more passionate about, and some of these notions are changing for Sly and I.  Before I highlight those thoughts though, I must really stress how much I just adore nursing my baby.  I see it as a life saving device, no exaggeration.  The flood of loving hormones I get from nursing, the loving, secure attachment between mother and babe ... it is a testament to evolution, that we women are truly made to breastfeed our babies, and our sanity benefits from doing it.  No matter how exhausting mothering can be at times, I am utterly grateful for the snuggles, the sweet looks, the arm stroking, the hand reaching up to be kissed that all come along with the gift of breastfeeding.  In our house these days, "Mama" means nursing as much as it means me, the Mama.

Nursing in public has a different look these days, meaning Sly is bouncing up and down, popping on and off, or just in general to distracted to focus on nursing.  He's becoming a toddler, and I am getting to know the nursing-acrobatics that toddler moms have told me about.  Tonight he was nursing a bit, then standing up, hugging me and kissing me, then sitting down to nurse again.  This was in our bedroom, but you can imagine how non-descreet it is to try and nurse this guy in public these days.  Thankfully he now can breastfeed really well inside of the Ergo, and that helps if I am out and just have to nurse and can't sit down in a quiet spot that exact moment.  He eats plenty of food and loves the social interaction more than breastfeeding at times, so it isn't like I have to nurse in public anytime I leave the house, like I did one year ago.

This may come as a bold statement, but I feel we (breastfeeding mothers) are doing a community service when we nurse our babies in public.  I think it should go with out saying here that I'm not talking about just hanging out topless, I'm talking about comfortably and politely feeding a baby.  A community service, people.  Yes!  We are reminding our community that breasts are for FOOD first and foremost.  Our society as a whole has mostly forgotten this fact.  I, the breastfeeding mom at the Farmer's Market, am just another part of the Local Foods movement.  Tis true!

What will soon be looking different in the realm of breastfeeding for us is that right now Sly gets to nurse when ever he wants to.  By "whenever he wants to" I mean, all night long if that's what he chooses, and it usually is.  Not today, and probably not tomorrow either, but very, very soon we will be changing this pattern by beginning the night-weaning process.  I wanted to wait until I felt he was ready, mature enough, healthy & securely attached to his parents, before I embarked on this journey.  And I wanted to wait until he was at least 1 year old.  He is well ready now, that is for sure.   We are going to maintain the comfort of our family bed, or at least that is the intention.  The plan as of now is to make a plan, most likely influenced by Dr. Jay Gordan from "Changing Patterns in the Family Bed".  A plan that defines limits, yet is within the scope of our parenting comfort levels.  A loving, consistent plan that allows Mama to get more sleep.  In the day time, nothing will change of our nursing habits, but at night time there will be a 5-7 hour window of No Nursing.  This will be big for all of us.  It will be hard.  It will require more nighttime involvement form Papa.  We are contemplating the right time to begin so as to be completely consistent.  Like I said, I love nursing my baby, and night nursing is by far the easiest way to put him back to sleep.  But I am also so, so ready to sleep my self.  To sleep for uninterrupted hours on end.  More sleep for Mama means more fun times for baby!  And a less-grouchy partner for Papa.

May the breastfeeding journey continue on!  And on, and on, for we have no plans to stop in the near future.  Right now I am quite comfortable letting Sly hold the reigns in that arena.  He seems content with that.  I know one day I will miss the sweet joy of a nursling, and that thought allows me to enjoy it all the more right now.

(Hello!  I do believe I'm back to blogging.  Join me here once a week if you please :) )

Attaching Naturally

I'm going to talk about things that Dr. Sears suggests never bringing up to people outside of your family....

Today, my check-out-girl at the grocery store asked sweetly, "Are you practicing Attachment Parenting?".  "Something like that" I replied, smiling.

"Attachment Parenting".  Yes, it is in so many ways how we are raising Sly.  I've read many books about.  It is what we do.  But that term, something about it makes me uncomfortable.  It's actually not the term itself, but the act of labeling something that I see as simply the way we parent.  The aspects of "Attachment Parenting" to me feel just like natural parenting, going with our internal, maternal, paternal instincts.  Some of it even feels like lazy parenting, and yes, I like to be lazy where I can be.

From day 1 I felt like the most normal thing for me to do was hold my baby as much as possible.  He had grown inside me for 9 months.  It was strange for me to not be close to him. And not even just close proximity, but skin to skin.  To help matters, I don't think I wore a shirt for the first week of his life.  Hey, I had just birthed a baby.  It was late May.  The last thing I was thinking about was putting clothes on.  So naturally, with out effort, there was lots of skin to skin time in the very beginning.

Sly sleeps in our bed.  We are not afraid of rolling on him.  We are not afraid that he won't be able to sleep on his own when the time is right for him to do that.  We have an Arms Reach Cosleeper, but this serves as a space for him to lay when Papa Bear or I are not in the bed as well (and, ahem, as my oversized nightstand).  I thought we would really, really use and need the Cosleeper.  I believe that we will use it more as Sly grows.  For now though, it is easiest for all of us if he is in the bed.  I couldn't imagine in those first few weeks him sleeping anywhere but right next to me.  I slept sitting up in bed because I hadn't quite figured out how to sleep with a baby.  Now, it is so natural.  Humans are the only mammals that attempt to sleep separately from our babies.  In our family bed, Sly gets lots of snuggle time with Papa Bear who is away at work all day.  And, most importantly perhaps, this Mama doesn't have to get out of bed in the middle of the night to nurse.  See, lazy parenting.  I want to stay in bed.  Neither of us has to fully wake up in order to feed at night.  No middle of the night crying. No worrying about him waking up or not breathing because I am right there beside him to check.  Lazy parenting? Perhaps.  Also, comfy, safe, natural parenting.

Babywearing.  I knew I wanted to do this early on because I always thought it looked so cool when I saw mamas toting their babes in a sling, big and small.  I have since learned that being a mama has absolutely nothing to do with looking cool.  Major misconception here on my part.  Being a mama does have lots to do with doing what is right for you and your babe, what is necessary in the moment, and sometimes looking down right silly because of it.  My boy loves being held.  Loves it!  And I love holding him.  But there are other things to be done in the day (I wasn't sure of this in those first few weeks), and wearing him allows me to do more.  To multi-task.  He gets to be right on me while I clean, shop, cook, and walk the dog.  It lets him sleep right by my heart for his naps.  Human babies are born under-developed, because their heads can't get much bigger and still be able to come through the birth canal.  Wearing a baby is a way to extend the womb, so they have the comforts of being close to mama (or papa, or grandma, or auntie) as their brains and heads grow.
Babywearing serves other very practical purposes: it is a way that I keep strange, though well intentioned, hands off my babies face at the store.  Sly is up by my face when we walk downtown instead of down at the level of hands holding cigarrettes.  I provide a steady sense of "home", because "home" is mama's chest.  There are even studies reporting that babies who are held/worn frequently develop great language skills because they spend so much time near other's faces.
Lots of great reasons to babywear, though the most important for us is that it is natural, and it just feels right.  I have no qualms with strollers.  No feelings like this. I would like to have one in the future.  But right now, a stroller just seems like one more piece of gear to take up space that we would rarely use.  Our wraps, slings and carriers take up very little space.  They are easy for us and Sly.

And finally, my breasts are able to fulfill their highest purpose.  Through my baby, I've become a milk machine.  It is my superpower, as one friend puts it.  Breastfeeding, quite literally, attaches Sly to me.  My body makes milk that is the perfect temperature, the perfect balance of nutrition for my boy, tuning in to exactly what he needs morning and night (because a body needs different things at different times of day!).  Fascinating, this process of nursing.  The epitome of natural food.  It transports well, as I wrote about before.  It heals wounds, people! (squirt it on your little ones diaper rash, step back and be amazed.)  It is free and requires absolutely no preparation, besides the old lifting of the shirt.  Again, lazy parenting.  Incredibly beneficial to Sly's body and mind, no doubt.  But easy-peasy, because wether you nurse or not, a few days after birth that milk's comin' in.  We have to try to stop it, and the friends I know that have done this say it is a painful task to dry up milk.  I'm not ready for that kind of pain.  Instead I'll have my baby nurse and release that juicy, oh so good, oxytocin again.  Why not?

We do follow many tenants of Attachment Parenting.  And boy am I thankful that there are books out there written about all the many styles of parenting.  Every set of parents could probably write their own book.  When I read Dr. Sears books about AP I am mostly in complete agreement with him.  Though, I mother the way I mother because it is what my heart says is right.  And this is way more valuable to me than what any outside expert may say.  Attachment Parenting?  Count me in.  It works for us.  It feels natural and instinctive.  I know that it may not feel that way for others.  So I say, the real style of parenting that is best, is the style where you follow your own heart.  As parents we are asked to listen to our hearts and trust our instincts more than ever before.  We have to do what works for us even if it goes against the grain of those around us.  Natural, personalized, heart-led parenting?  That's what I'm really all about.

Gifts of Breastfeeding

This post is part of how I wanted to celebrate Worldwide Breastfeeding Week.

Feeding Sly on his 2nd day of Life

I always knew I wanted to breastfeed. What I didn't know was how to do it (that took me and Sly 20 worrisome hours to figure out; so silly to think of my worry now with the mass amount of breastfeeding he does).

Or how to do it all the time. Because it sure feels like my little man needs it All The Time. And since I am not sitting at home alone All The Time (anymore), I have quickly become very comfortable with breastfeeding where ever we are. Not only do I feel okay doing it anywhere now, I feel that I should do it in public. It is good for my baby to have his needs met as soon as he expresses them. This encourages him to trust me, his Mama, and know that I am there for whatever he needs. I could go on and on about health benefits of breastfeeding for mom and baby, but kellymom has done an awesome job of that over on her site, as well as LaLecheLeague, and Dr. Sears.

I want to look at social benefits of nursing in public. It is good for the general public to see breastfeeding, because breastfeeding is feeding a baby in the normal way babies are intended to be fed. I see this as taking nursing in public to the level of being a part of consciousness shifting. Moving from the singular to the community, from the sexual to the normal, the disturbing to the beautiful. We all benefit from having our limits expanded, transforming old ideas to be more accepting. I certainly thought my personal limit might be nursing in public with a cover over my baby, however, Sly doesn't like his head covered so ... that's that. My boundaries expanded, and in turn the general public's boundaries are also pushed, hopefully to expansion. It's good to be reminded that the breast primary purpose is for food.

And the bonding that comes to me and my baby through breast feeding ... WOW ... the sweetest thing I may ever know is staring into Sly's eyes while he nurses. Or when he snuggles up to my breast to sleep after filling his belly. Mama means comfort, safety, and Home. I LOVE this job.

This Moment

{this moment} - A Friday ritual inspired by SouleMama. A single photo capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

Celebrating Worldwide Breastfeeding Week