Monday, January 7, 2013

the quest to Have It All





I’ve spent the last two weeks pouring my heart into plans for 2013.  They’ve been some of the happiest weeks in the past year.  I am feeling vibrant, powerful, free and goddess-like.


These feelings of vibrancy & freedom aren’t just because of my dreams.  I think it comes from the dirty work of releasing - putting down on paper the habits & patterns that hold me back from living my best life, then burning that paper in our fire.  Making a real commitment to breaking the pattern itself.  The truly glorious part is that after this sincere release has come a flood of ideas and things I want to create in 2013.  

I am almost overwhelmed by the spectrum of all I desire for 2013.  The list ranges from Being Happy, to launching a thriving, sustainable Birth Business, to loving my man deeper than ever before, to being a patient and present parent, to committing to self-care routines, to traveling more, to finding our perfect home, to resting, to focusing clearly in dedicated, but minimal business hours and spending the majority of my time enjoying each precious moment of life with my family. That last one, that’s the big one for me.

Do some of these seem like conflicting goals?

I am the first to admit that I want it all.  I wanna have it all.  I wanna have my rockin’, thriving business that I am SO passionate about and spend most of my time at home loving my family.   I want to suck the marrow out of life this year.  I’m telling myself it will be the best year ever, and I believe it.  I’ve heard too many women say over and over that “you can’t have it all”.  I’ve heard men say it.  I’ve believed it at times.  Inspite of all the naysaying this is the desire that continues to remain for so many women I work with: We want to Have It All.

This is not a wasted dream.  Ya know what?  It is totally possible to have the life I dream of.  (And You, Too! <3)

How am I so convinced?  Because the touchstone of all I want to create this year is that I promise to:
-Listen to and follow my heart.  
-That I will do what I want.

The ability to “have it all” hinges on these aspects.  I’m not talking about having a lot of stuff or blowing a lot of money here.  I am talking about desires from the depths of my being.   I am talking about committing to listening to  my heart, and then follow through where it leads me.  The trueness of heart, not the fickleness of emotions.  I am speaking to Dharma, and to Love, and to Authenticity.  I am acknowledging that we deserve to follow our hearts to our highest life.... the life where what we desire is infact our deepest sense of self.  I am acknowledging that we deserve to love our life.  As some of my mentors have said, it is our “birth-right”.

The caveat is that we are responsible for our own happiness.  We are responsible for the making of our own incredible lives.  We are responsible for doing what we want!  What?!  Yes!  It is our work to make the choices that will enhance our lives to the maximum.  Whether that involves saying more “Yes”es, or saying more “No”s, and probably a combination of both.  

And Mamas, I am talking to you!  We can be the queens of denying what we want, not listening to our own desires because we are so busy listening to others.  Yet, we must!  We absolutely must listen to our own hearts and follow them.  We are responsible for doing what we want.  Noone else can do it for us.  And we must do this, so that we can show our children the same.  To help them bloom and tender their own wondrous dreams.


Following our hearts and doing what we want is gold.  It is the gateway from wishing to being, from self-depriving to being our brightest expression of self.  The application, the actionable steps to creating our life of love comes only after we step through this threshold.

I am committed to loving myself, committing to seeing my dreams come true.  I don’t know the how of the matter yet, but I believe strongly in the possibility of creating the life I want.  I look forward to sharing the how at this years close.  Until then, there are many moments to infuse with love & create beauty.

What are you committing to this year?  What BIG dreams are you putting down on paper and out there to the universe?  What incredible ways will you listen to yourself and love yourself?  What do you want, dear one?  Please, please share your desires and goals in the comments below.  There is so much power in speaking out what we want most - it speaks to our innate worth and value.
{I am getting some serious ummph and inspiration for 2013 from Leonie Dawson’s 2013 Incredible Year workbook & calendar!  It has been a perfect way to dive deep into what I want to manifest and put it on paper.  Ready for 2013 to be INCREDIBLE?! 
 Yes, YES, YES!!  Leonie is providing some fabulous support for me and many others.  You deserve a workbook, friend.  It’s a wondrous way to say “I love you” and “Let’s Have It All” to your Divine Self.}





Saturday, December 29, 2012

here's to:

here's to the Dark:
     
winter wind howling like the souls relentless desire to know it's self....

cold, cold rain, ice and snow....

asking the Hard Questions...

fumbling.

Patience...

incubating, resting, being....

quiet loudness.

A Long Winter's Nap.

here's to the Light:

fire-side warmth,

and loving companionship.

satisfaction of work 

and time well-spent.

Ability to Choose.

a promise of fertility ...

planning ...

gratitude ...

this Shining-Angel of a son our family is blessed with.


and the glorious Light found within the Dark:
(there's is so much of this when we just look for it)

bright, white reflection of moon and stars on snow ...

a chance to refine my desires,

or another opportunity for growth,

(with grumbles, tears or laughter).

candles. 

beauty and simplicity in days spent at home,

and the giggles of a toddler hiding under the covers,

or tickled again and again.

winter celebrations ...

a call to meditation...





Wishing you the wisdom that all is exactly as it should be, wether dark or light ... we can always be reminded of this, yes?  I know I can.  Here's to being where we are, where ever that is.
                                         


Thursday, December 13, 2012

the season


Everything outside me says this is the season to buy more, to do more, to accommodate more.  This is the message I feel on the boundaries of my home.

Thankfully, this is far from what I feel in my home.  In my home and in my heart, I hear a constant message to buy less, do less, to settle and be more.  

This contradiction can make the most well intentioned holidays stressful.  It was a stress I didn't see, or that just wasn't a big deal before I had a child.  I could look the other way more easily, or just go along for the ride.  Now, with Sly making memories each second of the day, I feel a responsibility to create something meaningful and to free ourselves from activities which don't line up with out deepest goals for family.  One part of this is the recognition that he knows nothing about this season other than what we show him.  We are benefitted here by the fact that he doesn't watch TV.  I can emphasize the things that meant the most to me as a child that I'd like to carry on, the things that I bring with me into each winter: short days, wishing for snow, crackling hot fires, baking treats, candle light in the windows, a sense of mystery & magic, the smell of cinnamon, cloves & fir ...

Some parts of the Solstice-Christmas-New Years-Season are being downplayed, while others are getting a new attention.  A large part of crafting our own simple and special holiday season means editing out the things that do not fit our family.  Editing.  Saying "No", because that gives us more room to say "Yes" to what really matters to us.  Creating something meaningful out of this season has nothing to do with doing more, but a lot with doing only that which really matters.

I'd like to edit some stress out of my own life around this season meant for honoring the darkness of winter and then celebrating the return of Light, a promise of birth, life & fertility.  Somewhere culturally these meanings were lots to the act of abundant gift-giving.  I'm saying "No" to pressure, (most often self-imposed).  I'm saying "Yes" to simplicity.  I'm saying "No" to lots of presents, and saying "Yes" to home-made and small.  I'm saying "Yes" to our small family of 4 (dog included, of course).  Saying "Yes" to Light & Warmth.  Saying "Yes" to fir and pine tips from the yard and cookies in the oven.



Are you too wanting to craft a simple, meaningful holiday?  Perhaps your family dynamics have changed and everyone wants to see the baby while Mama and Papa just want to be at home with the baby?  Wondering how to handle the influx of toys and the pressure to buy for others just because our culture says now is the time to buy?  

I, friend, do not have the answers.  I have stumbled upon some morsels of wisdom and encouragement on the internet that I would love to share for those who feel inclined to re-create or create or edit this season.  I do believe that it may be Merry, Bright, and Calm with out a bunch of running around and credit-card spending.

relationship boundaries ...  Megan from SortaCrunchy talks about not being responsible for anyone else's feelings but your own, and the dance gift giving/receiving.  I love that she talks about changing the norm from asking kids what they are giving rather than what they are getting.  A bit ideal, maybe, but I like this emphasis.

give it good ... Ben Hewitt on obligatory gift giving and trying to give it up.

boundaries, suggestions & gratitude ... More from Megan, this time at SimpleMom

and this ...
I saw this floating around Facebook & it spoke to me right now.  I need to read this each day, I think.


My wishes to you for a simple, meaningful, merry season, in whatever way you celebrate.







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